The Importance of Girlfriends

I consider my natural disposition about as friendly as a doberman’s. I have this unique superpower which lets me, by the sheer act of showing up to a social gathering, cause comfort and conversation to shrivel up and die. Then I proceed to fill this new cavernous void with deep and resonating awkwardness, which I will exponentially worsen by clearing my throat about twenty thousand times. I haveliterally, without even using my hands, awkwarded people’s relatives into sudden hospitalization and unforeseen donut emergencies on the other side of town, for which they needed to cut our meetings short. I tell you this not because I take some twisted pride in it – even though I kind of do – but to illustrate how I’m really not very skilled at interacting with other humans. So you will understand why then, every couple of days, when I’m going about my business writing a story, tormenting the dog or trying to lick the floor of a Nutella jar, I’ll suddenly stop and think, “I have friends. I have friends? I HAVE FRIENDS.” It has the very same effect as when I eat that first French fry after a long hiatus – tremulous happiness mixed with terrible foreboding. But I digress. The real epiphany here is that when I think this happy thought, I only think of it in terms of my handful of girl friends.

This goes back to my all-girl, convent education perhaps, or maybe it’s just that from a ridiculously early age I was very aware that boys were boys and girls were girls for reasons that are only for my future therapist’s ears. I have often thought of this as one of the many great tragedies of my life (WHY did they cancel Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip?!), but what it meant was I never ended up developing any unselfconscious friendships with boys, while simultaneously forging a number of relationships with women that, if they were romantic, would easily qualify as epic love stories. Actually, you know what, they are epic love stories.

Forget about the big boorish clichés like going to the bathroom in groups, discussing in-growths in unhappy places and how all men are alternately awesome and awful. I’m talking about the ones that don’t make it to sitcoms – the rise in a girlfriend’s voice when she’s viscerally feeling outrage on your behalf. The way she can tell your happy silence from your awkward silence from the silence that is barely holding back your guttural sobs. The way we have defended one another’s honour and indeed, dishonour, alike. The way it’s ‘Us against the World/ Whoever’s Pissing You Off At The Moment’ season all year between me and my girlfriends. The code of ethics we have constructed piecemeal over time, whose nuances we intuitively understand, but can’t explain, especially not to the uncommonly daft boys we like. The way our relationships essay every other kind of relationship at different points in time – I’ve caught myself telling a friend that she is not to do a certain something-something in the very voice my mother used to use to make me drink milk of magnesia. I’ve also exchanged I Love Yous with these women, with the kind of intensity and truth I hitherto thought belonged only between a couple. We have been confident enough in our friendships so that we’ve spat virulent, unedited BS at one another and then begged forgiveness without the slightest cost to our egos. Like I said - I was aware of my ostensible girlness - not girlieness - very early on, but only truly became aware of its gravitas in the enduring company of these women.

At 26, I have managed to accrue a nice lot of meaningful male friendships as well, and I can confess that often I like to escape the girlfriends for their relative simplicity and linearity. I cannot even begin to tell you what an unqualified jock/jerk I’m capable of being around these guys. Until of course one of them offends some ladylike sensibility neither they, nor I, knew I had. Then it’s race-dialing the bestie with “GUESS WHAT HE JUST SAID TO ME…,” fervently hoping she’ll be able to tell me why I’m this mad. And you’d better believe she will.

Play Saris

Play Clan has come out with saris. Their range of T-shirts were already a huge hit and you can see here why so. Sari's was unexpected and was not sure if the playful side would transcend well onto this traditional piece of garment. Looking at their shoot pictures, looks like a fun garment to own while maintaining comfort!

Q&A with Play Clan founder and designer Himanshu Dogra:

• How did the idea to make saris come about?

The Sari gives us a canvas to tell a story. Paired with interesting accessories, it is a strong graphic statement, in a playful whimsical way.

• Do you want to introduce the younger audience to the idea of wearing six yards? 

Yes, we feel that this may push the boundary to a younger audience, wiling to experiment and express a viewpoint.

• Will these be available at the Play Clan stores for purchase?

In two months time. (Priced at Rs 14, 995)

YOUR SCENE SUCKS – KNOW THE DRESS STYLES

“Your Scene Sucks“, a nice set of illustrations that helps you to never make a mistake, recognize and know the clothing styles, among hipsters, punks, emos, the indies, the post-rockers, nerds, the hardcore geeks and others. The “Your Scene Sucks” are made by Rob Dobi, who just published a book.

via

Oil painting with a knife - by Francoise Nielly.

Françoise Nielly’s painting is expressive, exhibiting a brute force, a fascinating vital energy. Oil and knife combine to sculpt her images from a material that is , at the same time, biting and incisive, charnel and sensual. Whether she paints the human body or portraits, the artist takes a risk : her painting is sexual, her colors free, exuberant, surprising, even explosive, the cut of her knife incisive, her color pallet dazzling.

Artwork -  Francoise Nielly

Few of the Most Weirdest and Craziest Tattoos

This group hot tattoos design by Xoïl tattoos out of “Needles Side Tattoo” in Thonon-les-Bains, France. The tattoo design ideas are funny and cool, how about?

Eat Junk Food

Boss, how long you are going to live? In such a short time, why you want to restrict yourself and not eat any of the awesome junk food? First of all you tell me who is that idiot who named it junk food? You know what junk means right? So you are saying that everything they put in that dish has been collected from the dustbin or what?

Arey the ‘junk food’ consists of the same items you put in normal food. Then why this hatred? You know how awesome junk food is? I will tell you.

Imagine you are forgetting to take your Tupperware lunch one day. What you will do? You will be going to eat at the cafeteria right?

See, it is universal fact that all the cafeteria ‘chefs’ were construction workers in their earlier jobs. Arey they put sand, cement, stones and water in that concrete mixer na, like that the idiot chef will simply mix some two vegetables and make one dish that even a baby that is going to be born will puke. This guy will be giving regular ‘homely’ food.

Next counter guy will be preparing the awesome junk food. He will be cutting the onions right in front your eyes with his clean hands and sprinkling them over the pav-bhaji and serving you hot. Now you tell me, which will give you more satisfaction?

That also you leave, imagine what will happen to all the ladies if they don’t eat pani puri? My god! Even if they are going to get married in 10 minutes, they will park their Scooty in the side of the road and order one plate pani puri.

When they open their mouth wiiiiide and push that big puri with stuffed masala inside, they will forget the entire world around them, including that little fellow who is doing one-bathroom nearby. When they are biting that pani puri and the taste of the salty water mixes with the potato and hits their brain, at that moment, even if you ask them to marry you, they will say yes.

Best is when eating the samosa. The dance the people will do when they are suddenly biting that hot samosa no, hahaha, soo funny it will be. They don’t want to spit the hot potato masala, but at the same time they can’t bear the heat also. Too good it will be to see.

Or when they are biting that chilli bajji at the beach, they will also ask for chilly chutney as side dish. Their bravery should be saluted only. On top of all this, some idiots are saying ki Indians are meek people. Silly fellows.

Now one thing you itself tell. Why you think there are so many north Indian fellows at sandwich shops? Already they are undergoing some punishment at home in the form of tasteless food. That’s why they are coming and telling the guy ki ‘Boss, one chilli cheese, double spice, ok? Put extra chilli chutney’. Poor fellows.

Boss, eat junk food and be happy. Imagine what will happen if you are not eating junk food? All the fast food guys will close their shops (demand-supply economics problem). Then suddenly there will be price rise. One plate samosa will suddenly cost one hundred ‘bucks’ and in addition to your monthly 3G plan you have to add one samosa plan also. And you have to eat ‘Ghee rice (dal extra) Frankies’ or ‘Curd rice tikka’.

If there is no junk food, people will not be so happy. If they are not happy, their productivity will go down. Then economy will go into recession. Again. Then people will not want to have babies. Then our population will come down. If there is no population, who will protect our rich cultural heritage and all?

You need all this or what? Better nip it in the bud itself.